Busy day

Busy day today, so instead of a column I present you with a list of paraprosdokians that have been making their way around the internet lately. Hope you enjoy them - more sugar tomorrow.


1.  “Where there's a will, I want to be in it.”

2.  Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.

4.  Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

5.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

6.  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

7.  War does not determine who is right - only who is  left.

8.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

9.  A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a  train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

10.  Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a  successful man is usually another woman.

11.  I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

12.  You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a  parachute to skydive twice.

13.  You're never too old to learn something stupid.

14.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15.  Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

16.  When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.