Luck of the Irish

When I was young there was an Irish family in my neighborhood. I distinctly remember one amazing thing about this family, they had the luck of the Irish.

They would talk about it a lot, and what was truly stunning is, they were right. They were without question the luckiest people I've ever met. I don't remember if a month went by that some manner of good fortune didn't befall them. It bordered on being annoying.

Over the years I've come to believe that they were lucky because they believed they were lucky. Down to the core of their beings, they knew they were lucky, they expected to be lucky, and lo and behold, they were lucky.

I don't pretend to understand the mechanism at work here, but I'm sure not the first one to notice it. Books such as "Wishcraft" or "The Secret" are simply rehashing ideas that go back for eons. To at least some extent the world is what we expect it to be. Clearly there are limitations or we'd all be lottery winners, but at the same time there is also compelling examples of people who seem to get most everything they want by either luck or shear force of will.

You probably know someone like this, I think most of us do.

I am certainly no expert on this phenomenon or how to control it, but I have had some luck in life and I also believe I've been able to spread some around. I have found time and time again that if you surround someone with a positive idea, positive things tend to happen. Also, if you believe something positive will happen to you, there is a better than average chance something will.

In fact one of the reasons I jumped on the "Be nice to..." weeks over on SA was because I believe this kind of positive reinforcement can actually help people. Or put simply: "Sometimes it works".

Sometimes it does.

No Strings?

One of the goals that many reach for in Sugar is an NSA relationship. For the uninitiated, NSA stand for "No Strings Attached", and imply's there will be no emotional connection between the participants.

I don't believe in NSA. Never have. Not in sugar. The idea of having a close personal relationship with another person, yet keeping a 'string free' emotional detachment from that person does not happen in my universe. 

That said it is clear that some people are able to maintain these types of emotional walls, but look at their relationships. They are almost always in a constant state of turmoil and desperation. I watched a number of people on the SA blog over a period of two and a half years attempt NSA. The wailing never stopped. Recently MTV ran a micro-doc on sugar, and in my opinion it was a testament to NSA. It was not a pretty sight.

The truth is, we are emotional creatures. You can accept that and try to make it work for you, or you can pretend your a Vulcan and wind up in a non-stop tizzy. The only exception I know of is If the full extent of your relationship is sex. Yes that can be NSA. But it's not sugar either. Sugar by my definition is a relationship. It may not be a permanent relationship, but few relationships are.

How do you make it work? I simply think of my SD's as clients. Much like the clients of my regular business. I get to know them, I find things about them I like and enjoy. I care about them and show interest in their lives. I'm always glad to see them, and when the job ends I try to remain friends with them. 

Is that so hard?

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